Thursday, June 15, 2006

Got a couple of bad news to announce, unfortunately (or fortunately, if you dislike me).

First off, the electone exam didn't go too well. I thought I had it all coming, I had a ton of ideas for my 5-minute beforehand preparation improvisation piece, my repretoire and arrangement pieces were all well prepared, it seemed like I would almost definitely pass the exam. Funny thing, nerves are. The moment I stepped in, in was completely downhill. My improvisation was crap, the piece I was supposed to play had a couple of slip-ups and no expression because I'd forgotten to check the volume dial to allow me to use the expression pedal better beforehand. In addition, I don't know why or how it happened, but my right calf muscles decided at the very moment I started playing to not listen to my brain and start spasming uncontrollably. Because my right foot was on the expression pedal, and because my calf was contracting and relaxing like my lower leg was having an epileptic fit but without the eyes rolling over and tongue biting - since legs don't have eyes and tongues and other parts - I couldn't make the volume loud and soft when it was supposed to be, and my performance was totally static, with mistakes to add insult to injury. It didn't help that one of my examiners was my ex-music teacher, which only compounded the nerves problem which I didn't know I had till I started. Even my hearing, which I was guaranteed to get an A sucked totally. Now the only thing I can do is pray I pass.

Bad news #2. Now if you've seen me in the last couple of months, you'd have noticed that there was some 'ulcer' or growth or something like that on my lower lip. If you haven't seen me in the last couple of months, then I have no idea why you are viewing my blog in the first place, unless you are just passing by. In any case, read on. As I was saying, there's this funny lump on the right of my bottom lip, which has been there for a few months already. You won't really see it if my mouth is closed, only when I talk, eat, smile or do anything that involves opening my mouth, and I have to say it's an honest fucking bloody pain in the ass, or in this case lump on my lip. It's damn fugly, and doesn't do anything postive for my looks, which were never good in the first place. It all started with my accidentally biting myself hard on the lip, I think. There was blood and there was pain, and of course the subsequent ulcer whenever you accentally bit your lip or tongue, but I'd never thought it'd be anything more than that.

Well anyway, today my mom brought me to the doctor, and the moment the doctor muttered the words "oh dear", I knew that the prognosis wouldn't be good. How bad, I was immediately about to find out. The doctor asked if I'd accidentally bitten my lip and I said yes. He then asked how long the lump had been there."You have a granuloma" I was told. What the hell that was at first of course I didn't know, but generally when a doctor tells you that you have some ailment which has some stupid weird name, it's never good. The doctor - a seemingly nice enough person for that matter - went on to explaing what a granuloma was. Apparently it's caused by "trauma to the lip" and is "something like a tumour, but not cancerous". This results in a "proliferation of cells" which cause them to grow abnormally, resulting in this shitty thing called a granuloma. I was then told that it was harmless, and I had two options:

1) Leave it alone and look like I was born with some fucking growth (my words, not his)


2) Go for surgery

I didn't like whatever the word "surgery" would portend in terms of costs, but I don't want to look like this for the rest of my life. The doctor referred me to a specialist and the cost is going to be in the $400-$500 range. WTF. 5 cool benjamins for a bloody bite? And it's going to be an operation under local anasthetic, so if I want to have this damn thing removed, I've to check into hospital for day surgery. $500 can almost buy me an Xbox 360, man.

What a fine way to blow off some cash. Arrgh.