Wednesday, August 16, 2006

This post might or might not contain vulgar obscenities, depending on whether I bother to manipulate my words or not. Not by any fault of my own, it's just that those were the cirumstances, as you'll see later on in the post.

I just shortened my life by about 10 minutes. Count it as a birthday present I got for myself, though not one I'd wanted, that's for sure.

I'd finished tuition at 8.30pm and decided to go over to McDonald's to mug a little. Didn't get much into my head, due to the crap that happened. Anyway, I don't usually go inside when I go to study alone, because of the freezing temperatures and because of the bloody speakers which blare out McDonald's advertisements repeatedly non-stop. Unfortunately tonight almost all the outside seats were taken, and I had to settle for one next to the designated smoking area. I repeat, NEXT to the smoking area. Well there were these two chaps sitting at the table beside mine, and I didn't really give much attention to them for a while.

Sad to say, my indifference, it seemed had to be interrupted, and rather rudely if I may add. It seems that some Singaporeans can't string together a sentence without adding an obscenity into it. You see, when those two nitwits communicated, almost every sentence they spoke was punctuated with references to male or female genitalia, broken or in dialect. I'm not saying that I never use obscenities, but that was pure overkill. Mountain out of a molehill? There's more to it.

A couple of minutes later, one of the two guys, a particularly brilliantly daft person then decided to light up and smoke. Sunshine here nonchalantly manouveured a cigarettte from the box he had on the table (something which I failed to notice before I sat down and he lit up) and proceeded to engage in one of the most stupid activties that the human race participates in. I simply cannot understand why people smoke. The bloody retard. And there he was, blissfully spouting smoke while directly under the "no smoking area " sign. I had half a mind to remind him that he was smoking in a no smoking area, but the prospect of being assaulted with hokkien obscenities (and those limited to genitalia at that) by two ah bengs did not appeal to me very much. I decided to bear with it for a while. Big mistake. Just moments later the other guy decided to play 'monkey-see-monkey-do" and started smoking as well.

You might be asking: "Why the hell didn't you move, then, dumbass?" In answer to that, I can only shake my head and reply that I was harbouring the hope that my faith in Singaporeans' considerate behaviour was justified. Not so in this case. Oh, and I wasn't inclined to subjecting myself to mindless McDonald's fast-food propanganda while having my arse frozen inside. So I decided to bear with it for a(nother) while. After all, they'd leave soon, wouldn't they? Big mistake -_-ll

One of the nitwits (not Sunshine but his friend) talked on his mobile phone a few times. During his conversation he demonstrated further his fantastic aptitude at repeating Hokkien obscenities every sentence. His parents must be proud of him. Possibly a third of the things he said were basically the same vulgarities over and over again. Get some manners, dude or at least have some variety. From the rest of the conversation I managed to decipher the word "goods" and things like that. Overreacting, am I? It gets worse.

Just a short interval later, a couple of friends of our two friends came along. Basically the same gangster type. They began conversing in what can only be termed gangsta-l33t-sp33k, the reason being as before; incessant spewing of vulgarities. I couldn't leave now, that was for sure. Anyway it seems that the two were pirated CD vendors or something, because Sunshine's partner kept bitching that customers kept coming every day to exchange CDs because the movies couldn't play, and one of the guys who'd just joined was saying that the VCD of "My Super-Ex Girlfriend" wasn't working properly. That's nice to know. I'm sure if you guys brought your faulty goods to the police they'd help you with it. By putting you in jail. Thankfully a while later the new guy suggested they move over to the smoking area when he saw Sunshine lighting up with a new cigarette. Perhaps in consideration of me. There's still hope, then.

All in all, a fairly harrowing experience. I might have exaggerated things a little unknowingly in the process of typing this post, since I was there for only forty-five minutes or so, but I assure you that it is wholly unintentional. Oh, and I did manage to not cite examples of the obscenities used. Promise kept! =)

P.S. I'm going to stay up till 12a.m. tonight just for the fun of it. I'd like to experience the exact moment I make the transition from good ol' fifteen to sweet sixteen. I hope I can stay awake.